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Yes - Computing can have a lighter side.
A selection of computer jokes and funny situations I've found myself in during my years as a trainer/troubleshooter.
Copyright
I hope the jokes here are in the public domain. If you think you own the copyright to anything on this page, please let me know. I'll either acknowledge you or delete the material.
I own the copyright to all the funny situations. If I find them posted elsewhere I will contact your web host. If you think you are the subject of any of the situations and you are offended, please let me know. I don't intend to offend anyone, but I'm more than happy to remove the items if you would prefer me to.
Funny Situations
These all happened to me - honestly.
Keeping in touch
One day the phone rang and I was talking to an unknown, mature gentleman.
Caller: I don’t seem to be getting any of those email thingies.
Me: Oh dear. Have you made sure that you are connected to the internet before you check your email.
Caller: I don’t understand what you mean
Me: Are you sure that your computer is dialling up and connecting to the internet?
Caller: I don’t have the internet
Me: Oh. What’s your email address?
Caller: I don’t have an email address.
Now where should I sit?
I was running a course using the computer suite at a local school. You know the sort of thing – a row of computers around the outside of the room with a chair in front of each computer. And – one spare chair at the end of the row.
All the students arrived for the third lesson of the course and sat themselves in front of a computer. All that is, apart from one. Who decided to sit on the spare chair in front of an empty desk. I politely pointed out that this was a computer course and he might find it easier if he sat in front of a computer.
Where angels fear to tread
I was asked by a lady to give her a computer lesson in her home. She explained that the computer belonged to her husband and he didn’t really want her to use it. I assured her we would write down everything we had done so he would know.
At the end of the lesson she said she would like to learn to use the internet. She added that she wasn’t sure her husband would let her do that as he was very secretive about what he did on the internet. “Oh”, I said, “I expect he’s been looking at some funny pictures.” The lady looked me straight in the eye and said: “Yes he has, he’s a transvestite.”
Other Services (not what you’re thinking)
An elderly female client had just moved into a new retirement flat. When I first met her she told me she had a boyfriend. The new flat was fitted with a walk in shower, which she told me she didn’t understand how to use. “Can’t your boyfriend show you?” I asked. A look of horror crossed her face and in outraged tones she replied “I don’t allow him to see me naked”.
“Come on”, I said, “I’ll show you”. No nudity required. I just showed her how to pull the on-off cord and press the shower button.
Do you know your right from your left
A couple came on a beginners course I was running. He told me he was left handed and so he would like the buttons on the mouse changed for left-handed use. Not a problem, I always tell my classes that this is an option for anyone who is left handed. I changed the buttons. Which hand did he (and his wife) use the mouse with? The right. |
